Hey,
Concerning the RAM, go with ECC modules.
Just a quick heads-up, Hexos is using ZFS, which is different then raid and has a different naming scheme. For example the RAID1 in ZFS is called mirrored, RaidZ1 in ZFS would be similar to Raid5, RaidZ2 would be similar to Raid6. Therefor to not get confused between Raid1 (ZFS mirrored) and ZFS RaidZ1 (Raid5) I will use the ZFS terms.
Mirrored boot drive is the way to go with the current version of Hexos. Since pool import is not supported at the moment, if you only have 1 boot drive and if your boot drive bites the dust, there is currently no way to use hexos again without loosing all your data. You would need to install truenas and use truenas until Hexos supports pool import.
I am using WD Red Plus and Seagate Ironwolf drives, they are meant for NAS and should last longer in theory. However a lot of people are using desktop grade drives without much issue. My only recommendation would be to make sure you get CMR drives and not SMR drives (meaning don't buy for example normal WD Red drives, either use the Red Plus or Red Pro for those)
If you are only using it as a NAS and don't want to host a lot of other things and VMs, 1 CPU would be more than enough, this will save on energy. Additionally, you can also activate some of the C-States in the BIOS to save even more energy on idling and you can disable not used components (audio chip on consumer grad HW, onboard NICs if an external NIC is used etc...) Stopping drives from spinning would also save some energy, however this is generally not recommended since it increases the wear on the drives, spinning drives up is one of the more frequent cases where a drive can die.